Archive for April 24th, 2005
angel’s Adventures
Add comment April 24, 2005
My Domme-ness
A visitor wrote that he wanted to know more about my being a domme (domme is the feminine version of dom). What he didn’t say was what he wanted to know. So, I’ll just talk and see what comes out.
I came to realize that I enjoyed giving pain about 7 years ago. This revelation came in the form of I read a book. LOL I had ordered this book from a book club and took it along on “vacation” to TN to visit hubby’s family. I read it while I was there and the entire time, I was wet. I thought this book was going to be about finding yourself… something I’d lost after having my first child. Nope. This book was about the true-life exploits of some s&m’ers in England. Some of what was described was from the dominant point of view, some from the submissive/slave point of view. While I couldn’t (and really still can’t) relate to that side, what made me wet was the things that were being done to them. I WANTED to do that! I wanted to make someone scream in pain, knowing that at the same time, they were on the brink of orgasm. What a rush! Controlling someone’s body like that. Wow.
Since then, I’ve traveled a long way from reading and fantasizing to actually doing. Being a Domme is not an easy thing when you only play with females. When I finally came out to my hubby about this, and decided that I needed to pursue it, I volunteered to only play with females – and he was happy with that. I knew if I wanted to do anything w/a man, I could do it to him – and I did LOL He’ll usually let me do just about anything I want to him, as long as it’s not serious/severe pain. (Remind me to tell you about the cinnamon oil experiment LOL)
So, I began reading and “studying” to learn what I could about being a domme. Along the way, I started to make my own toys, because I simply couldn’t afford the ones in places like JT’s Stockroom or the like. So I made my own! Then, since female submissives weren’t beating down my door to play, I realized I needed practice with these toys, and to also know what they felt like as well. Enter Hubby! I asked him to use them on me. He did. Sometimes skillfully, sometimes not – I realized what an awesome outlet it was. We started playing more with those types of sensations and I realized I’m a total pain slut LOL Now, was I submissive to him during those sessions? Nah. I would lie there and tell him what things to use, in what order, etc. But I DID enjoy the sensations, which was a huge surprise for me. I’m a MAJOR wimp. But not when it comes to that LOL
It was no surprise when this link was sent today by one of the guys on one of the groups I’m in. (Clicking the words will bring you to the article.)
Ok, so back to my original thoughts. By my being able to take a beating and keep on ticking, I felt much more confident in my skills as a Domme. To know what something feels like, and what to follow it up with. It’s been a huge “break” for me in my own confidence. My own self-esteem and self-worth. Now, when I go to parties, I literally have a list of women who want me to play them. They know I’m what’s considered a “heavy player” – I don’t hit with feather dusters  My play bag is ripe with lovely things – paddles, crops, canes, clips, clamps, you name it. My next purchase, eventually, will be a single-tail whip, and I can’t wait for that! Nor can my playmates! *EG* |
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