ok maybe it hasn’t left the building

The difficult part of being newly pregnant is that you just don’t know WHAT to expect when you’re expecting. Every pregnancy is different, and presents it’s own sets of challenges. With my son, I had gestational diabetes, and what wound up being a very grueling, 22 hr labor that ended in an emergency c-section. With my daughter, I worked on my feet for nearly 9 months, which killed my back. I also had awful nausea with her pretty much constantly. I do remember, though, that I was horny as hell with both pregnancies. It wasn’t always constant, but particularly with the kink side of things, I wanted wanted wanted. We just weren’t always sure what we could do and not do, for fear of releasing too much adrenaline, etc. So we always stayed on the side of caution. No different this time.

Anyone who has been reading this blog for a while knows that things in “happy land” haven’t been so happy – there’s something physically going on with me that, I’ve learned, can be corrected with surgery. Of course, being PREGNANT, I can’t exactly have that done at this particular time. But as a result, I’m NOT in the mood. I know it’s gonna hurt, so whybother? (and not in a good way)…. and that’s unfortunately been the way it’s been for way too long (most of the year, anyways). Hubby’s always been fantastic, never pushy, pouty, etc. It’s been ME – I need that physical connection. So I will initiate relations even though my body doesn’t want it – because I need to be close to him, and this is usually the only way to accomplish that.

This works in that yes, he’s up for the task, but for the most part, I’m not. Which just makes ME feel worse, not better. UGH

But for whatever reason, maybe it’s knowing that this problem can and WILL be corrected after the birth of this child, but I’m more willing and receptive now – to the point of… *gasp* ENJOYMENT! YAY for pregnancy hormones! I don’t know if that’s to blame (or thank), but hey, I’m going with it. LOL