He’s here :)

Pls visit My Baby Blog for the announcement.

ramblings

so, we’re again lying in the dark last night and I ask him, “Were you nervous on Wednesday?” – the whole idea that he finally did this is mind-boggling to me, and the mindset that he was in intrigues me completely.

Being the smartass that he is, says, “what part of Wednesday?”. “Wednesday night, you goof”, I say. “Well, I was nervous all day, actually… “, he says. “Why?”, I say. “Well, because have said no, or laughed”, he says (apparently in all seriousness).

the thought never entered my mind. It’s a good thing I’m not a snarky bitch, eh?

He did go on to say he wished he’d done it “better”. HOW, I ask. Because seriously, can you think of a much better way to propose?? (Apparently, though, him in his new M&M boxers, me in my 10 yr old (actually really pretty) red negligee, wasn’t what he’d had in mind LOL)

But he’d had other, bigger plans but the snow storm had screwed with them. He’d planned on taking us out to dinner and doing it over dinner. Instead, we were half naked. I reminded him that we’d spent probably the majority of the last 11-1/2 years half naked, not all dressed up, so it was perfect.

He keeps asking me if I’m sure I like the ring, and if I don’t, we can go pick out something else. I told him the only problem I can foresee with the ring is finding a wedding band to go with it – as if THAT’s a problem LOL

I explained how the ring was competely secondary to the proposal, and how now I don’t care if we ever really get married, because now the INTENT is there, and that’s what really mattered to me. I know to some people, that might not make any sense. But to me, knowing that he (finally) picked ME is what matters most. Because I KNOW he only intends to do this (marriage thing) once. And the fact that it took him 42 years to find the right person to finally do that marriage thing with… well, it’s kinda neat

My first marriage happened because we both thought that was what we were supposed to do next. We’d met in middle school – dated from then on, with a year off for good behavior (ok, not so good on my part). We married 10 years from the day of our first date. La la la – story book, cutesy as all shit.

We’d been together 7 years straight on the day of our wedding. And the marriage lasted 4-1/2 years. This obviously was meant to be the only one, but it wasn’t for me anyways. He’s still single, but that’s a whole other blog entry lol

Anyways, that proposal went like this: at the 6-1/2 year mark (I was 22), I said to him “Ok, you’re either gonna marry me or we’re splitting up – you have 6 months to decide”.

6 months later, I asked him “Have you decided?”. He said “Well, I don’t want to split up”. (queue the wedding bells here) That was it. LOL

We were engaged.

We planned a big wedding, 200+ in attendance. It was a wonderful day, it truly was. But it was what we thought was supposed to happen next. Then we grew apart and shit happens. I got the official “Divorcee” thing stamped on my head 5 years later, a month after giving birth to my son (my honey’s son, not my ex’s) and my life was already on the next path.

Like the Rascal Flatts song, God Bless the Broken Road, I don’t regret my 1st marriage – it’s what led me to that next path- finding my honey. Spending the next 11-1/2 years not only getting to know him, but myself as well. Having my children – even if we did everything backwards LOL Knowing that at every hard twist and turn our lives have taken, we’ve taken them together. He’s not turned into an abusive prick (i.e #1), nor a boozer/pill popper. Yeah, he did his time as a jerk, but I have too. He’s an incredible father to our 2-1/2 kids, which was sometimes what kept us glued together when nothing else was. He’s generous and puts up with my goofy family

Does he have his quirks? Oh hell yeah.

But how could I have possibly turned down a proposal by a man in M&M Boxers (that actually say “You know you want me” or something like that LOL)?

the final countdown

So, I’ve got 4 days left until the baby’s born (hopefully, it’s 4 and not less!) so this here is my “I won’t be posting much in the next few days” posting

My parents are coming up on Monday, and on Tuesday morning, I’ll be checking into the hospital for a scheduled c-section and a couple of other lovely procedures. Unfortunately, there’s no wi-fi LOL So my baby blog will be updated by my awesomest friend angel, so check back there .. ya know, hourly or more, for updates

Whoa…like… seriously – whoa.

You may or may not recall this posting from last year that I wrote after having a rather nice weekend with my ma’an. The ma’an (just say ma’am, but with an n) and I have been together since 1995, when we first met on the internet chat Resort. We met online in March, but in real life in July. I was completely and totally sunk when I met him. I moved to be closer to him 5 months later and that was that.

Except it wasn’t. Although we’d go on to spend the next 11-1/2 years together, we’ve never married. This has been a great source of pain and disappointment me. I have always felt “less than” and although we’ve had dozens of emotional conversations about it, he never gave me any *real* reason as to why he wouldn’t get married. I thought it was because I am a less-than-perfect mate. I am a less-than-perfect parent. I’m not Martha Stewart either. I try to be the best I can be in all areas, and I KNOW it’s not perfect. But it’s me.

karma’s a bitch

There were two brothers. One was very good and tried to always live right and be helpful. His brother, on the other hand, was bad and did all the things that men should not do and didn’t care who he hurt.

The bad brother died. He was still missed by his brother since he loved him despite his ways.

Finally, years later, the good brother died and went to Heaven. Everything was beautiful and wonderful there and he was very happy. One day he asked God where his brother was, as he hadn’t seen him there. God said that he was sorry but his brother lived a terrible life and went to Hell instead. The good brother then asked God if there was any way for him to see his brother. So God gave him the power of vision to see into Hell and there was his brother. He was sitting on a bench with a keg of beer under one arm and a gorgeous blonde on the other. Confused, the good brother said to God, “I am so happy that you let me into Heaven with You. It is so beautiful here and I love it. But I don’t understand, if my brother was bad enough to go to Hell, why does he have the keg of beer and a gorgeous blonde. It hardly seems like a punishment”.

God said unto him, “Things are not always as they seem, my son. The keg has a hole in it; the blonde does not.”

another “I want” posting

Yes, I know… I want I want I want.

But when you’re a mom, you’re surrounded by other people’s wants all day long. “Mom, I want something to drink” .. “Mom, I want to play a game”.. Mom mom mom.

But as you readers might be able to attest to, I’m more than a mom. While being a mom is my #1 priority, I do need more. I need adult interactions, which is why I host a munch. It’s so I can get out at least once a month and talk to other adults. I even attend a party here and there that doesn’t require cupcakes.

So when I say “I want”, it’s because something is missing and I need to fulfill it or else, it will just sit there in the back of my mind, growing. Whether it’s “I want a whopper with fries” or “I want My Man Right Now”, if I don’t get it, I’m likely to get cranky.

So, after last week’s trip to the motel that rather fizzled for me anyways, I told hubby why I’d wanted it in the first place. I wanted one last night, not just of sex, but intimacy – that will last me through the next 4-6 weeks of abstinence. Something to recall and it’ll bring a smile to my face. And while our night in the motel was nice, having contractions whilst someone is giving you all sorts of southern oral attention, and all you can think about isn’t how good it feels, but rather what if your water breaks AT THE VERY MOMENT, it isn’t exactly conducive to a memorable evening of hot, sexy monkey love. (oh god, I can just see the search terms now)

So to reiterate, I WANT one of those nights – sans the contractions, door knocks and 4 trips to the bathroom to pee.

Yeah, I know – I’m REALLY asking for alot now lol

ok, so how about I change my tactics.

I can’t WAIT for…

My body to be my own. So when he runs his fingers over my skin, down over my breasts and to my stomach, I don’t IMMEDIATELY think “did he feel the baby move just then?” When his fingers continue to trail down between my legs, exploring and exciting, I don’t imagine a big gush of amniotic fluid greeting him. Hell, I can’t wait to be able to bend over, for all SORTS of reasons, but I really do miss being able to trail my tongue from his neck to the back of his knees and feel him tremble, listen to his moans and know it’s because of ME.

Something weird this way comes…

Hmmm… weird, painful contractions with *no* symmetry SUCK.

So does unexplained high(er) blood pressure readings.

And people who NEVER COMMENT :p

and doesn’t that suck about Anna Nicole? Trim Spa is screwed, that’s for sure.

oh boy, is this me LOL

some funnies

a kindergarten pupil told his teacher he’d found a cat, but it was dead. “How do you know that the cat was dead?” she asked him. “Because I pissed in its ear and it didn’t move,” answered the child innocently. “You did WHAT!?!” the teacher exclaimed in surprise. “You know,” explained the boy, “I leaned over and went “psst!” and it didn’t move.

A little girl goes to the barber shop with her father. She stands next to the barber chair, while her dad gets his hair cut, eating a snack cake. The barber says “Sweetheart, you’re gonna get hair on your Twinkie”. She says “Yes, I know, and I’m gonna get boobs, too.”

15 days

• Just 15 days to go until my newest heir to the throne is brought, screaming, into this world. Hard to believe, eh?

• You Were Nice This Year

  You Were 25% Naughty, 75% Nice Okay, so you weren’t *entirely* nice this year But Santa doesn’t expect a modern girl to be perfect You were good enough – and you’ll be rewarded for it

  How Naughty (Or Nice) Were You This Year?

• Your Celebrity Boob Twin:

  Anna Nicole Smith

  Who’s Your Celebrity Boob Twin?

I’m still hoping to hear from someone about a backup blogging site that allows you to import. C’mon people.

• I hope that Melinda got her heat back this weekend.

• Prince was awesome in the superbowl halftime show. He’s still hot after all these years. I actually stood in line at 5am to get tickets for his show 23 years ago.. and they sold out before I got any.

• I taught a one-on-one eBay class yesterday, despite the fact that it was 10 degrees out, and I’m , ya know, 99 months pregnant. But the lady was very appreciative, so that was nice. She even called to make sure I got home ok.

• My mom & dad are coming up for the baby’s birth

• My friend angel is sending me a paddle that’s even got my name on it. I can’t wait.

• Although it wasn’t a holiday, my mom turned 60 this weekend, and my parents also celebrated their 29th wedding anniversary. I can’t possibly fathom that!

• My 3 yr old has officially joined the ranks of the homeschooled.

• My kids keep coming up with names for the baby.

• While I haven’t been able to be particularly kinky for a while, I still have kinky thoughts, so I consider that to be my reason why I keep my blog named this

• Even though we’re expecting a very nice tax refund, I cannot think of more than 2 things that I want to buy when we get the money One of them is a freezer, the other – a *good* frying pan.

• A really awesome homeschooling site – IknowThat.com

• I quit smoking 16 years ago and according to quitnet.com, I’ve saved $60,000.

• I was really upset by this news story about this woman who was refused medical treatment while being arrested, and she miscarried her baby. Now, while she obviously was probably already losing the baby, having to go through that whole night KNOWING it was happening, would be awfully cruel.

• Some people try to guess my password for my password protected postings. I tell them that’s like trying to hack my blog.

• This other story about this couple who had sextuplets and then refused to allow them to have what could have been life-saving medical treatments that would have saved TWO of the babies – also pisses me off. You want them so bad, you do what you have to, religion or not, to SAVE THEM.

• While I can’t wait for my pregnancy to be finished and the baby to be here, I know I’ll miss being pregnant, at least a little bit.

• I have read every single (fiction) book by Koontz, Patterson, King, & Grafton.

• In hindsite, I wish I hadn’t fought so hard to avoid a c-section with my son, thus putting both our lives in danger.

• After almost 12 years, I can say without a doubt that our relationship is stronger than it’s ever been.

• And the sex ain’t bad either

And in case you’re wondering, I’ve just used every category I have on my blog LOL