some funnies

a kindergarten pupil told his teacher he’d found a cat, but it was dead. “How do you know that the cat was dead?” she asked him. “Because I pissed in its ear and it didn’t move,” answered the child innocently. “You did WHAT!?!” the teacher exclaimed in surprise. “You know,” explained the boy, “I leaned over and went “psst!” and it didn’t move.

A little girl goes to the barber shop with her father. She stands next to the barber chair, while her dad gets his hair cut, eating a snack cake. The barber says “Sweetheart, you’re gonna get hair on your Twinkie”. She says “Yes, I know, and I’m gonna get boobs, too.”