no words…

What’s in a name.

As I mentioned recently, there’s not a whole lotta kink going on here. There hasn’t been for quite some time for a variety of reasons, not the least of which is that Mr. Zachary is here. My outside kink interests (i.e. play parties, play friends) have all pretty much evaporated… the interest on my part just isn’t there. Maybe it’s the utter lack of sleep, and the motivation to drive somewhere to beat someone just does not seem to be in existence. My kinky friends have all reported this happening to them at one point or another, and I know for a fact that it happened to me after the birth of my daughter as well.

So with that being said, do you think I should rename my blog to something a little less lascivious, considering there ISN’T a lot of kinky content here anymore? Or does the lack of kink make me less kinky, because the name is a kinky WOMAN’S guide… i.e. not a woman’s kinky guide.

What do you folks think? Vote by leaving a comment, since this STOOPIT vote caster thing doesn’t work. Thanks

 

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Swiped from Always His.

If you read this, if your eyes are passing over this right now, even if we don’t speak often, please post a comment with a memory of you and me. It can be anything you want — good or bad. When you’re finished, post this little paragraph on your blog and be surprised (or mortified) about what people remember about you.

mindless entertainment (& blog posts)

I will admit it. I like a few reality shows. Survivor, The Amazing Race and The Apprentice are all on my “must watch” list every week. Until recently, though, that was it. Mainly because, I think, they feature real people, not actors/actresses or some kind of entertainer looking for another way to make a buck. It’s fun to cheer for the good guys, and I get really pissed off when asswipes like Rob & Amber get ahead. I don’t like the conniving that goes on but ya know… it’s part of the game, etc. I simply *REFUSE* to watch American Idol because of that nasty jerkface simon coward. I just don’t like mean people, I suppose.

I decided to check out Dancing with the Stars this season mainly because of all the hype from last season. It’s been nice to see that the judges don’t degrade the dancers even when they do SUCK (i.e. Shandi, Leeza) – what IS it with these skinny women who cannot move their hips to save their lives (or their Dancing legacy LOL)??? I mention skinny because Laila Ali, who isn’t skinny, CAN move her hips (even if she’s got a man’s body LOL)

Billy Ray Cyrus, who has such a musical background, is so bad, he’s funny. Clyde Drexler… well, that man’s too tall! I love watching Joey Fatone (whom I loved in N’Sync, yes, there I’ve admitted it) and Ian Zierling (who I hated on 90210… there, I’ve admitted that too), because they can dance and have a personality. I’m not all that impressed with Apolo – I’m not sure why. It cracks me up, though, that his dance partner is all of 18 yrs old.

I also think Heather Mills is totally getting way too much credit for her dancing just because of her disability.

My pick for who goes home this week is Leeza Gibbons – she has a great personality but cannot Dance.

here cums peter chocolate tail, hoppin down the bunny tail

courtesy of my friend kim lol

Tagged by Tom… well more like interviewed…

Tom, over at The Edge of Vanilla posted some interview questions to me. Here they are, along with my answers.

1) Your blog is named “A Kinky Woman’s Guide to the Universe.” Is this a Douglas Addams reference?

Considering I have no idea who Douglas Addams is, I’d say nope LOL (I’m not very cultured, can you tell?)

2) You seem to be happy living in a rural area. How would your life be different if you were living in a big city?

Well, we did live in a “city” when we first lived together – and hubby hated it and was miserable there. So I’d say it’d be miserable again LOL If we ever moved from here, it would be to a place similar in landscape and population, that’s for sure.

3) You keep talking about how your husband changed last year. What about you? Did you change or have to change to accommodate this? How is your relationship different?

I think we both changed. He became more open, honest, caring. I became less of a bitch. I was a bitch, admittedly, because I was not getting what I needed from him emotionally. Once he opened up and realized that he was waiting for life to begin, instead of living it, he really gave us both a new life.

4) Being a full time mother of three little ones has to seriously cut back on the kink activities. How do you handle that?

Good question. At the same time that our family has been growing, our local scene has pretty much dried up and died. So I don’t know what’ll happen once I can get back to leaving the house without the entourage.

5) Are you as mellow in real life as you seem to be from your blog?

I try. I think people take things in life way too seriously. I try not to. I don’t always succeed, but I like to laugh, have fun, LIVE.

The Measure of a Man

“The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.” -Martin Luther King, Jr.

Upon my reading of Kristen’s blog entry for yesterday, I found myself still thinking about it after I’d shut my browser, after I’d gone downstairs to start lunch and wash dishes. It stayed on my mind throughout those preparations and that’s when I decided I needed to blog about it.

The above quote kept coming to mind, though I did have to go look up who originally said it. Kristen’s blog posting today got me to thinking about my own man, and how he measures (don’t be a perv!). It’s very true… it’s easy to be the stand-up guy when things are easy. It’s during those hard, stupid, emotional times when it gets tricky – and when the real person behind the machismo and testosterone stands up. It’s that guy, ultimately, that you need in your life. Not the one that says “no, honey, those pants don’t make you look fat” … ok, that one is good too, but you know what I mean.

Anyone who has read my blog for a decent length of time will know that I’ve not always been blessed with that guy. My man hasn’t always been my prince charming – there were times when I blogged about what a selfish, self-absorbed asshole he was. As well, I haven’t always been the wife/mother/spouse I should have been either. Specifically, I think back to yesteryear when I got high-speed cable internet and was on the net CONSTANTLY. I wasn’t Suzy Homemaker, that’s for sure. However, I grew, I changed, I got better. No, I’m not Suzy Homemaker yet, but at least I DO try to keep DHS people away

Somewhere along the way (2 years ago, almost), though, things changed within our relationship and things got better. LOTS better. And I blogged about that too. How he’s changed so much in that time, and continued to grow and change. He was never the type of guy to go out drinking with friends – hell, he hasn’t got any (honestly). But he was never that type. He’s always been family-centered, although his ideas on how to treat a woman were rather skewed. That changed, he now appreciates me and what I do 100% more than he ever did before. But that’s easy when I’m keeping the house clean, the kids fed and him happy. It’s when I can’t or don’t do those things that challenges him, I’m sure. It’s during these last 6 weeks when he purposely did every load of laundry. Even when I told him *I CAN DO THAT*, he did it anyways. Just to help out. It’s when he came home after working 8 hours and then cooked dinner. Because he could, and so I wouldn’t have to. And when I’d protest, he’d say “Your job right now is to take care of him” (meaning baby Zach). While incredibly sexist-sounding, it *is* true. Since I’m the only one who can feed him, and to feed him properly, I need rest, ok – you’re right honey, I’ll do that. And I HAVE. It’s been hard, because I know how hard it is to juggle it all. I’ve been doing it *all* for years. All he’s done when he’s come home was sit at his puter. I’ve cooked, cleaned, etc. and that’s been fine. It gets on my nerves every once in a while, and I feel unappreciated, but I get over it and go on. But to see him doing these things, without the whole martyr thing to go with it, has been really really nice.

So now that things have calmed down and I’m back on my feet and am able to pick up where I left off, he’s still helping. This is the best part of all, because now he doesn’t *have to*, he is anyways. That’s neat. It’s new. I’m LIKING IT!

Does he still drop the ball from time to time though? Hell yeah. We all do. But there’s things that have hurt and will stay hurt. Like last year when his father told me to get the fuck off his property and that I was never to step foot there again… hubby didn’t defend me – hubby didn’t say a damned word. He let his father speak to me like that in front of our children. He let his father call him pussy whipped in front of our children. He also let his father talk to my son like he was shit – blaming my 8 yr old for a perceived slight that had happened 2 years before. This hurt. A LOT. He never spoke to his father about any of this. They just went back to pretending like we’re all just one big happy family. IT was never addressed. He was allowed to do that and nothing was ever said. That hurt.

My main point about this entry was originally to say that he has proven what a man he is during the last 6 weeks. He proves it daily now. Hourly sometimes. Yesterday, willingly taking all three kids at once while I went to a dr. appointment, literally walking the halls with the littlest one (who was hungering for mama) while he waited for another dr. appt. for the baby & then taking them in for that appt.! Tonight, willingly taking all three kids at once while I go to my munch. For changing diapers, and waking up on his own several times a night to check on the sleeping baby, without me even knowing it. For knowing about my blogging & not having a problem w/me venting about him, our life, our kids or whatever. For slowly learning how to handle a weepy, post-partum woman who doesn’t even know why she’s crying.

For being my perfect mate.