look out parents…

Mingle² – Online Dating

This rating was determined based on the presence of the following words:

* fucking (19x)
* fuck (13x)
* sex (11x)
* cum (3x)
* sexy (2x)
* asshole (1x)

LOL

Well, FUCK me! I’m NC-17.. which makes total sense! rotflmao

the bullshit weight-loss industry

I am an American woman who has always struggled with my weight, as has my sister, and our mother. But because I have a BRAIN, I don’t run to every weight-loss “miracle” that comes along… thus probably saving my life a time or two.

My sister, though, has tried several “miracle” drugs and other weight-loss plans with varying success, although she scares the hell out of me when she lets me know (usually weeks after she’s started) that she’s taking them or experiencing problems WITH them.

My sister is 13 yrs younger than me, has had 2 children and is only moderately out of her weight “limit” as set forth by the AMA.

With that being said, I can say with some authority that my sister would probably be goofy enough to try the newest FAD weight loss miracle drug – alli – because it’s FDA-approved and promises. The website touts

|”forget the fad diets, gimmicks, miracle offers & empty promises”|

Ok. We will. (click)

Luckily for HER, I’m up at 1am and was logging into my blog when this posting, thanks to WordPress website for putting up popular posts, caught my eye.

Do not read this posting while eating breakfast.

or anything for that matter.

And I WILL be sending her this posting, and his.

I don’t normally suggest you go read someone ELSE’S blog, but he says it as concisely as I ever could LOL

Go … no, really – you have GOT TO GO READ THIS.

just blahhhhh

I know I have been ignoring my blogging duties here.  I’ve been blogging like a madwoman over at my other blog, but have really had nothing even remotely adult to share with you here.

I’m back to my blahhhhhs.

The sex has dried up due to really annoying illnesses, first on his part and now on mine.

I went to the dentist on Monday for the first time in 5 years [thanks to newly purchased dental insurance].  While his assessment didn’t surprise me, the bill [fucking OUCH] did. And then of course, that night, my teeth, which weren’t hurting BEFORE I went to the dentist, sure as hell did after.  Then the allergies kicked in, filling my sinuses and making every movement of my head hurt, making my teeth throb.   I’ve been a mess ever since.

Fuck, ya know?

The fucking idiot that did the HR duties at my hubbies work, because she wasn’t doing her job CORRECTLY back in February, put us onto the medical/dental benefits that we signed up for RETROACTIVELY, which EFFECTIVELY knocked me off of medicaid.  We didn’t know anything about this, though, until last Friday when I called my OB’s office to see why I’d gotten a freakin BILL for his services (although he only assisted).  Turns out that there’s a watchdog group out there that watches to make sure there’s no dual insurance shit going on.  They found ours, popped my ass off of medicaid and handed all the bills to the paid medical insurance company [that I won't name for fear of defammation lawsuits].  So now I’m getting CO-PAYS on everything, and of course, you also have to pay the FIRST co-pay of $500 per person per calendar year, and then after that, they’ll cover you on some stuff UP TO 80%.  Yippee fucking doo-dah.  So for some $320 a MONTH, they’ll do that nifty stuff for ya.

Thanks. a. whole. fucking. lot.

[I wonder how many google hits I get just for using the word FUCKING so much]

Then, of course, the “estimate” for my teeth. Ha. fucking. HA.  I went and looked it up in the “manual” to see just how much of this FUCKING bill will cost us.

Four extractions (because my amalgam fillings shrunk, allowing bacteria into the tooth base, causing further deterioration, causing the filling to fall out, the tooth to break and leave large, unsightly tooth bases in my mouth, making me look Oh So Pretty)… 3 of those are like that – those are $200-$245 each (we have to pay 20%).  Plus the nitrous that I’ve requested, not covered all, an extra $200.  That’s roughly $480.  Yes, that’s not bad when you consider it totals $1600!!!   Then, consider he wants to put in cadaver bone to fill in the space where those 3 teeth are coming out of, to preserve the ridge so I can be fitted for partials (which I have to wait 12 months for), that’s an addition $1150 – none of which is covered by insurance.

Then let’s talk about the  perio work I need, admittedly.  Doesn’t this sound exciting – scaling & root planning. WOohoo.  another $1290 and ya know, bi-weekly visits for 10 fucking weeks, accompanied by repeated anesthesia shots (which I’d rather have a fucking spinal than have these) and ya know… keeping in mind that I have TMJ and can’t keep my fucking MOUTH OPEN THAT LONG.  Sigh.

SO, to say that I’m not in a good mood is an understatement.  That shit that went down with my family is still unresolved.  I’m not getting any.  My house is a mess, the fuckers are making us get our own electrical account (which had been included in our rent since we moved in) at a cost of whoever knows how much per month PLUS the $130 we have to give the electric company as a deposit.  Oh, but they’re taking $45 a month off our rent.

Big. Fucking. Deal!!!!!

My husband is making more than he ever has in his life, and yet here we are, struggling still.  The only way to get out of this is for me to get a friggin job, I swear, and then what do I do with MY THREE CHILDREN.

I went to my Dr. yesterday to follow up on the fact that the b12 wasn’t working, the numbness/loss of sensation is still there, and oh yeah, I’m still depressed.

Can’t Imagine Why.

She wants me to get out of the house and interact with other adults, even once a week. Sure.  No problem – as long as I can be back in ya know, 90 minutes to feed the youngest.

Fuck. Ya know?

I moved my other blog, and I’m pissed off with the template and can’t figure out how to change it so that every freakin line isn’t 1.5 spaced. It doesn’t recognize line returns/paragraphs <p> so it’s hard to read, and just fucking. grrrr.

I know, I’m ranting. Seriously, get the fuck over it if it’s bothering you.

Plus, I don’t know if anyone else can relate to this, but have you noticed that when you’re not having sex, it’s really hard to get the motivation to WANT to have sex again? Like, it’s just too much effort?

What the hell.

Goodbye Tony Soprano, we’ll miss you… heLLO Big Love! :D

YES, I admit it – I LOVE Tony Soprano.  James Gandolfini is just hot, in my book.  But specifically, as Tony, he’s awesome. I’m gonna miss him. *sniffle*

 However…

Big Love comes back on tonight.  Woohoo!  How hard is it to be THAT guy, 3 wives, 3 houses, 8? kids.  Nope, wouldn’t want to be him LOL (pms x 3… No Thanks)

 And Rescue Me comes back this week too.  Dennis Leary is another of those guys you love to hate.   And of course, The Shield ended last week.  oh, but I do like me some Michael Chiklis. 

If you watch any and all of these shows, you’ll notice one thing holds true for all these guys.

They like sex. They like it raw, hard and fast.

Geez, all these bad boys, is it any wonder I’m sharing my life with my own bad boy?

I’d like to see Tony Soprano down on his knees, though… begging to be allowed to kiss my foot

Technorati Tags: sopranos, big love, the shield, rescue me, bad boys, sex, michael chiklis, james gandolfini, denis leary,

argh

Is there anyone out there who has any clue about plugins and their use on your own domain-hosted word press blog?????

If you’re out there, would you pleaseeeee comment so I can contact you? Plleeeeeeaaaassssseeeee?

Thank ooo

wtf

I’m in a bad place today. No, not physically – physically, I’m sitting on my couch in my mostly quiet house, sharing Baby Einstein with my baby boy, while my oldest is upstairs *supposedly* cleaning his room; hubby’s at Staples with the evil middle child, my daughter spawn of satan and the princess of the house.

But that is a subject for another day.

Today, I’m gonna go on a rant that you’ll probably not understand and most definitely not give a shit about, but I’m in such a nasty, rotten mood that if I DO NOT GET IT OUT, I’m going to spontaneously combust.

“Geez, LC,” you say to yourself, “what’s got your panties in a bunch?”

MY EXTENDED FAMILY.

I love them, I really do.

But with each passing year, my poor little family gets more and more splintered and it’s because of ridiculous shit that gets passed around from one to the other, alienating more of us. I’ve always tried to be the peace maker in my family. “Come on”, I say – “you know you can’t stay mad at family – come on, make up & be nice. You never know how long you have.” And I honestly believe that.

But this time, Fuck Them.

Fuck them.

I’m stooping to a 20 yr old’s level, but I cannot help it. That’s how badly she’s pissed me off. You remember how fucking self-righteous and indignant you were at 20? Yeah, she’s the fucking QUEEN of it right now, and she’s very lucky I live 200 miles away, because I’d have been at her door at 9am this morning. Just to deliver my message live and in person.

Fuck.

I can’t let it go, either. The other fuck up in the equation is my stupid fuck of a dipshit ex husband who spurred it all on by opening his big fucking mouth. I can’t go into specifics. But he’s a dipshit who will *not* make the same mistake again because now I will not discuss anybody with him. At all. Fuck him too.

and then Grrrrrrrrrr – to think of all the fucking times I’ve been laughed at or ignored, bitched about, etc. and I just kept saying to myself “it’s family… it’s family…”

Fuck.

I’m the one in the family who remembers everyone’s birthday. Everyone’s anniversary. I’m the one in the family that, despite being 200 miles away, makes sure to send a gift whenever I can. I’m the one in the family who makes it a point to call them on their birthday. To let them know that I remembered, that I care and that I love them.

Want to know the last time my kids received any of that same treatment from this particular segment of my family?

never.

Not a phone call, not a card – I don’t give a shit about gifts – I give my kids everything they want – but not even a fucking phone call. AND IT’S NOT EVEN LONG DISTANCE! I purposely have a Rhode Island telephone number so they do not have to call long distance to talk to me. But they never use it anyways.

But I’m not petty – just because THEY don’t do it, doesn’t mean I should take it out on their kids. It’s not their fault. And of course it’s not. But it still pisses me off. My kids are out of sight, out of mind. Theirs NEVER are. I love those kids, and even though I live 200 miles away, I make sure that they know that.

I still have to remind my oldest son, who is 10-1/2, who “these people” are when we go there because he never hears from them.

It’s so fucking frustrating.

And my hubby says “well, they know you’ll keep sending the shit… why do they care if you’re pissed”

And the sad part is, he’s right.

Fuck.

toys toys everywhere

I have a bazillion toys. My toy bag weighs at least 20 pounds. And it hasn’t come out of the depths of the bottom of my closet since 2 days before my son was born (so mom wouldn’t stumble upon it). We hardly ever use anything from my kinky play bag, mostly for a very simple reason. They make NOISE. So noise is not a good thing when you’re sharing a room with an infant. So, the noisy toys are out.

However, there is *one* toy that I love. One toy that I/we do use with almost 100% rate at getting me to my happy place. I’ve never been one with the insertable vibe type of toy, and this isn’t one of those. But apparently, the secret to MY success isn’t so much a secret, judging by the reviews on this particular “toy” I use. So my favorite toy isn’t necessarily a toy, but damn do I have a good time with it *eg*

So just IMAGINE my horror when the wind blew and ruffled the miniblinds in my bedroom window, causing an errant glass of water to fall to the floor -RIGHT NEXT TO MY TOY!!!!!!!!!!! – AND then imagine, if you will, just how fast my ass FLEW out of the chair in order to save not the $10 baby thermomether, nor the $20 light nor the $10 heating pad, all which live under that window, but to save MY TOY!!!  LOL

And as an aside and as promised to my kinky readers, the secret to HUBBY’s success that I alluded to earlier this week, was this toy, combined with his magical oral talents and holy cumma-cumma-cumma-chameleon, did I cum in a whole new way.