Father’s Name Unknown

Ok, so one of the reasons I had wanted to get married before our newest son was born was because, up until then, EVERYONE in this house has the same last name except me. When our children were born, however, my hubby-type person had to sign paternity papers saying “yes, I’m the daddy, yes you can track my ass down for child support should it ever come down to that”. Because they assume, obviously, that if you’re not married, you’re a deadbeat too.

So each of our children’s birth certificates says “Mother’s Name” and lists my name - not my maiden name - my MARRIED last name… and then of course, father’s name and the kids have HIS last name. Which is of course how we wanted it.

So it was just one of my neurotic moments of many where it really bothered me that a THIRD child would be born with their mother’s name not the *same*. So I put the heat on. Clearly, however, it didn’t work LOL

So then I said well, fine - if you’re not going to marry me, I’ll go have my name changed legally… this will accomplish a few things (not the least of which was to drive bamboo shoots up into the fingernails of hubby’s family hehehehe) and our next child will have the same name as ME. (I really do hate it that our names are different in the hospital - oh that’s baby K… his mom is mom X.)

ramblings

so, we’re again lying in the dark last night and I ask him, “Were you nervous on Wednesday?” - the whole idea that he finally did this is mind-boggling to me, and the mindset that he was in intrigues me completely.

Being the smartass that he is, says, “what part of Wednesday?”. “Wednesday night, you goof”, I say. “Well, I was nervous all day, actually… “, he says. “Why?”, I say. “Well, because have said no, or laughed”, he says (apparently in all seriousness).

the thought never entered my mind. It’s a good thing I’m not a snarky bitch, eh?

He did go on to say he wished he’d done it “better”. HOW, I ask. Because seriously, can you think of a much better way to propose?? (Apparently, though, him in his new M&M boxers, me in my 10 yr old (actually really pretty) red negligee, wasn’t what he’d had in mind LOL)

But he’d had other, bigger plans but the snow storm had screwed with them. He’d planned on taking us out to dinner and doing it over dinner. Instead, we were half naked. I reminded him that we’d spent probably the majority of the last 11-1/2 years half naked, not all dressed up, so it was perfect.

He keeps asking me if I’m sure I like the ring, and if I don’t, we can go pick out something else. I told him the only problem I can foresee with the ring is finding a wedding band to go with it - as if THAT’s a problem LOL

I explained how the ring was competely secondary to the proposal, and how now I don’t care if we ever really get married, because now the INTENT is there, and that’s what really mattered to me. I know to some people, that might not make any sense. But to me, knowing that he (finally) picked ME is what matters most. Because I KNOW he only intends to do this (marriage thing) once. And the fact that it took him 42 years to find the right person to finally do that marriage thing with… well, it’s kinda neat

My first marriage happened because we both thought that was what we were supposed to do next. We’d met in middle school - dated from then on, with a year off for good behavior (ok, not so good on my part). We married 10 years from the day of our first date. La la la - story book, cutesy as all shit.

We’d been together 7 years straight on the day of our wedding. And the marriage lasted 4-1/2 years. This obviously was meant to be the only one, but it wasn’t for me anyways. He’s still single, but that’s a whole other blog entry lol

Anyways, that proposal went like this: at the 6-1/2 year mark (I was 22), I said to him “Ok, you’re either gonna marry me or we’re splitting up - you have 6 months to decide”.

6 months later, I asked him “Have you decided?”. He said “Well, I don’t want to split up”. (queue the wedding bells here) That was it. LOL

We were engaged.

We planned a big wedding, 200+ in attendance. It was a wonderful day, it truly was. But it was what we thought was supposed to happen next. Then we grew apart and shit happens. I got the official “Divorcee” thing stamped on my head 5 years later, a month after giving birth to my son (my honey’s son, not my ex’s) and my life was already on the next path.

Like the Rascal Flatts song, God Bless the Broken Road, I don’t regret my 1st marriage - it’s what led me to that next path- finding my honey. Spending the next 11-1/2 years not only getting to know him, but myself as well. Having my children - even if we did everything backwards LOL Knowing that at every hard twist and turn our lives have taken, we’ve taken them together. He’s not turned into an abusive prick (i.e #1), nor a boozer/pill popper. Yeah, he did his time as a jerk, but I have too. He’s an incredible father to our 2-1/2 kids, which was sometimes what kept us glued together when nothing else was. He’s generous and puts up with my goofy family

Does he have his quirks? Oh hell yeah.

But how could I have possibly turned down a proposal by a man in M&M Boxers (that actually say “You know you want me” or something like that LOL)?