just blahhhhh

I know I have been ignoring my blogging duties here.  I’ve been blogging like a madwoman over at my other blog, but have really had nothing even remotely adult to share with you here.

I’m back to my blahhhhhs.

The sex has dried up due to really annoying illnesses, first on his part and now on mine.

I went to the dentist on Monday for the first time in 5 years [thanks to newly purchased dental insurance].  While his assessment didn’t surprise me, the bill [fucking OUCH] did. And then of course, that night, my teeth, which weren’t hurting BEFORE I went to the dentist, sure as hell did after.  Then the allergies kicked in, filling my sinuses and making every movement of my head hurt, making my teeth throb.   I’ve been a mess ever since.

Fuck, ya know?

The fucking idiot that did the HR duties at my hubbies work, because she wasn’t doing her job CORRECTLY back in February, put us onto the medical/dental benefits that we signed up for RETROACTIVELY, which EFFECTIVELY knocked me off of medicaid.  We didn’t know anything about this, though, until last Friday when I called my OB’s office to see why I’d gotten a freakin BILL for his services (although he only assisted).  Turns out that there’s a watchdog group out there that watches to make sure there’s no dual insurance shit going on.  They found ours, popped my ass off of medicaid and handed all the bills to the paid medical insurance company [that I won't name for fear of defammation lawsuits].  So now I’m getting CO-PAYS on everything, and of course, you also have to pay the FIRST co-pay of $500 per person per calendar year, and then after that, they’ll cover you on some stuff UP TO 80%.  Yippee fucking doo-dah.  So for some $320 a MONTH, they’ll do that nifty stuff for ya.

Thanks. a. whole. fucking. lot.

[I wonder how many google hits I get just for using the word FUCKING so much]

Then, of course, the “estimate” for my teeth. Ha. fucking. HA.  I went and looked it up in the “manual” to see just how much of this FUCKING bill will cost us.

Four extractions (because my amalgam fillings shrunk, allowing bacteria into the tooth base, causing further deterioration, causing the filling to fall out, the tooth to break and leave large, unsightly tooth bases in my mouth, making me look Oh So Pretty)… 3 of those are like that – those are $200-$245 each (we have to pay 20%).  Plus the nitrous that I’ve requested, not covered all, an extra $200.  That’s roughly $480.  Yes, that’s not bad when you consider it totals $1600!!!   Then, consider he wants to put in cadaver bone to fill in the space where those 3 teeth are coming out of, to preserve the ridge so I can be fitted for partials (which I have to wait 12 months for), that’s an addition $1150 – none of which is covered by insurance.

Then let’s talk about the  perio work I need, admittedly.  Doesn’t this sound exciting – scaling & root planning. WOohoo.  another $1290 and ya know, bi-weekly visits for 10 fucking weeks, accompanied by repeated anesthesia shots (which I’d rather have a fucking spinal than have these) and ya know… keeping in mind that I have TMJ and can’t keep my fucking MOUTH OPEN THAT LONG.  Sigh.

SO, to say that I’m not in a good mood is an understatement.  That shit that went down with my family is still unresolved.  I’m not getting any.  My house is a mess, the fuckers are making us get our own electrical account (which had been included in our rent since we moved in) at a cost of whoever knows how much per month PLUS the $130 we have to give the electric company as a deposit.  Oh, but they’re taking $45 a month off our rent.

Big. Fucking. Deal!!!!!

My husband is making more than he ever has in his life, and yet here we are, struggling still.  The only way to get out of this is for me to get a friggin job, I swear, and then what do I do with MY THREE CHILDREN.

I went to my Dr. yesterday to follow up on the fact that the b12 wasn’t working, the numbness/loss of sensation is still there, and oh yeah, I’m still depressed.

Can’t Imagine Why.

She wants me to get out of the house and interact with other adults, even once a week. Sure.  No problem – as long as I can be back in ya know, 90 minutes to feed the youngest.

Fuck. Ya know?

I moved my other blog, and I’m pissed off with the template and can’t figure out how to change it so that every freakin line isn’t 1.5 spaced. It doesn’t recognize line returns/paragraphs <p> so it’s hard to read, and just fucking. grrrr.

I know, I’m ranting. Seriously, get the fuck over it if it’s bothering you.

Plus, I don’t know if anyone else can relate to this, but have you noticed that when you’re not having sex, it’s really hard to get the motivation to WANT to have sex again? Like, it’s just too much effort?

What the hell.

wtf

I’m in a bad place today. No, not physically – physically, I’m sitting on my couch in my mostly quiet house, sharing Baby Einstein with my baby boy, while my oldest is upstairs *supposedly* cleaning his room; hubby’s at Staples with the evil middle child, my daughter spawn of satan and the princess of the house.

But that is a subject for another day.

Today, I’m gonna go on a rant that you’ll probably not understand and most definitely not give a shit about, but I’m in such a nasty, rotten mood that if I DO NOT GET IT OUT, I’m going to spontaneously combust.

“Geez, LC,” you say to yourself, “what’s got your panties in a bunch?”

MY EXTENDED FAMILY.

I love them, I really do.

But with each passing year, my poor little family gets more and more splintered and it’s because of ridiculous shit that gets passed around from one to the other, alienating more of us. I’ve always tried to be the peace maker in my family. “Come on”, I say – “you know you can’t stay mad at family – come on, make up & be nice. You never know how long you have.” And I honestly believe that.

But this time, Fuck Them.

Fuck them.

I’m stooping to a 20 yr old’s level, but I cannot help it. That’s how badly she’s pissed me off. You remember how fucking self-righteous and indignant you were at 20? Yeah, she’s the fucking QUEEN of it right now, and she’s very lucky I live 200 miles away, because I’d have been at her door at 9am this morning. Just to deliver my message live and in person.

Fuck.

I can’t let it go, either. The other fuck up in the equation is my stupid fuck of a dipshit ex husband who spurred it all on by opening his big fucking mouth. I can’t go into specifics. But he’s a dipshit who will *not* make the same mistake again because now I will not discuss anybody with him. At all. Fuck him too.

and then Grrrrrrrrrr – to think of all the fucking times I’ve been laughed at or ignored, bitched about, etc. and I just kept saying to myself “it’s family… it’s family…”

Fuck.

I’m the one in the family who remembers everyone’s birthday. Everyone’s anniversary. I’m the one in the family that, despite being 200 miles away, makes sure to send a gift whenever I can. I’m the one in the family who makes it a point to call them on their birthday. To let them know that I remembered, that I care and that I love them.

Want to know the last time my kids received any of that same treatment from this particular segment of my family?

never.

Not a phone call, not a card – I don’t give a shit about gifts – I give my kids everything they want – but not even a fucking phone call. AND IT’S NOT EVEN LONG DISTANCE! I purposely have a Rhode Island telephone number so they do not have to call long distance to talk to me. But they never use it anyways.

But I’m not petty – just because THEY don’t do it, doesn’t mean I should take it out on their kids. It’s not their fault. And of course it’s not. But it still pisses me off. My kids are out of sight, out of mind. Theirs NEVER are. I love those kids, and even though I live 200 miles away, I make sure that they know that.

I still have to remind my oldest son, who is 10-1/2, who “these people” are when we go there because he never hears from them.

It’s so fucking frustrating.

And my hubby says “well, they know you’ll keep sending the shit… why do they care if you’re pissed”

And the sad part is, he’s right.

Fuck.

various stuffs

• My baby boy turns 100 days old today. Hard to believe it’s gone that fast.
• That damned bug bite, and the 5 others I had, itched like a mofo for four freakin days.
• I just spent several days moving my baby blog – turned family blog, to one of my own domains and will probably do the same for this blog once I decide on a domain name.
• I got stopped the other day (expired inspection sticker) and damn, the Statie was cute.
• No, I didn’t proposition him.
• Yes, I got a ticket but won’t have to pay it if I can get the car inspected by Sunday
• Apparently, Donald Trump got pissy because NBC decided not to put The Apprentice on the Fall schedule, and went all Rosie on them, deciding not to do the show at all anymore. Does that mean NBC is Fired? And more importantly, does ANYONE care???
• Another post-partum woman decided to off her kids and, thankfully, herself – and one of the kids – the newest one – survived THE HANGING. All I can imagine is what that little girl is gonna think when she gets older.

Breaking Taboos

ABC’s 20/20 on Friday night featured a look at what’s taboo these days. I found myself the ‘object’ of many of the taboos that they discussed, and found it rather funny LOL

As a plus-sized woman, I’ve always felt rather … odd to be with an average sized guy. I have always felt like we were being looked at when we’re out in public, holding hands, obviously a couple. Well, not so much since we now have the 3 kids, mainly because we’re never alone LOL But yeah, I’ve always wondered what others thought … the woman on the program also identified that, saying she felt judged by others in that dynamic.

So I took the question to hubby. Did he ever feel like people stared at us, wondering what a guy like him was doing with someone so obviously not in his league. He just laughed, said he figured they’d be staring, wondering the opposite. What was I doing with someone so obviously not in MY league. Kinda the same, though, I think.  It made me wonder if it’s just a fat female thing, the insecurities.  Who knows.

Next up were couples where the man stayed home with the kids while the wife worked. It was on purpose – they wanted it that way. It wasn’t out of necessity. We’ve been there too, briefly. I worked and supported us while hubby stayed at home with our son for about 18 months, before & while pregnant with our daughter. People assumed that he just couldn’t find a job or didn’t want to work. It wouldn’t compute for people that we liked it that way.

Also as part of the whole oddness of couples, they mentioned couples where one partner was nicer looking than the other – been there, done that.  I think hubby is much better looking than he believes, and again, wonder what in the hell he sees in me. 

They also tossed out how finding love on the internet used to be taboo. Been there, done that. 

Ah, and moms who aren’t the Suzie Sunshine when it comes to being a stay at home mom and all the boring stuff that that entails, and how TABOO it is to talk about it.  LOL Not since blogging, thankfully.  Does it make someone a bad mom to say she doesn’t like all the aspects of parenthood? I don’t think so, but maybe it’s because I’ve broken that taboo too.

Oh and divorce… yeah, that used to be a taboo too. LOL been there, done that.

That’s me – Taboo Breakin Bitch Calliah

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To Guilt or not to Guilt… that is the question

I have written this post for my (former) baby blog now turned family blog, but because I have such a diverse readership, I thought I’d post it here as well to see what kinds of comments I’d get from the 1 or 2 folks who visit here

Kristen over at Motherhood Uncensored had an interesting post yesterday about mom guilt. As you know, I have tons of mom guilt. But mine is not necessarily brought on by other’s expectations or judgements of my actions. For the most part, I really don’t *care* what you think about the fact that I’m a stay at home mom. Yes, many women fought for the women’s movement so that I would be allowed to go to work if I wanted. I am grateful to have that “right”, and I’m also grateful that I don’t have to use it.

Hubby & I purposely choose to go without things so that I can stay at home with my children because *I* *Personally* *Believe* that that’s where I belong. I couldn’t stand the idea of missing anything that my child would do for the first, second, third time. I couldn’t stand someone else making decisions about my kid on a daily basis. As it was, when I went to work when my son was 6, I felt guilty and he was well past the “firsts”!

I worked for about 18 months and was home again, having my daughter. Last summer, just when I was thinking I should start looking for a job, as hubby had had no luck, I got pregnant with my son. LOL It just is obvious to me that I don’t belong at work LOL

So anyways, I don’t care if you don’t agree with it. I feel no guilt whatsoever. We don’t drive a new car – we drive a 1998 used minivan. We don’t have cable tv, although we do have a generous friend who allows us to watch tv through his Sling Box and Tivo, but if he didn’t, we would simply not have it – I can’t justify spending $800 a year on a bunch of crap television!

I don’t care if you don’t agree with my breastfeeding, or homeschooling or any of the things I do that are radical from your views. There’s no guilt there either. None of my children have been baptised/christened/etc. We’re simply not a religious family. Nope, no guilt there either.

So where does all that guilt come from? My new blog friend Frog Princess recently revealed that she’s going to have to go back to work perhaps next month. Her daughter was born a few days before Zachary, so they’re the same age. Do I judge her for the fact that she’s going back to work? Nah. I feel BAD for her, but I don’t think she’s less of a mom because she’s making that choice. The SAHM life isn’t for everyone. Hell, it’s not even for ME some days. But, as my mom used to say, you’ve made your bed, now lay in it.

Most of my family have done things the more traditional way. My mom, sister & sister in law all went back to work after having their babies. None of them breastfed for more than a week or month. None of them homeschool. All of them had their babies Christened. All of them had vaginal births. To say I’m the radical in the family is an understatement LOL Do they make me feel guilty for my choices? Nope. So where does that mom guilt that so many women suffer from come from? Is it really other women’s opinions of them, or is their perception that other women are judging them?

Maybe it’s an age thing. Do you care less about what other people think of you the older you get? I know I used to feel those scornful looks from people when I was younger. My weight, perhaps, was the biggest culprit. I just assumed people were staring, making harsh comments about me under their breath or in their heads or to their horrified co-conspirators. Were they? I’ll never know – but I felt like they were and that was enough to make me feel bad. Maybe that perception changed as I got older.

Do I wish that all moms could stay home with their children and be able to pay their bills and buy new things, etc.? Of course. Is it possible? Of course not. We need those women doing those jobs they do in order for our world to turn the way it does. We need women to formula feed because otherwise (and I’m not being sarcastic), those jobs would be lost – the ones who make the formula, the cans, the bottles. We need parents to send their kids to school – again, the jobs, etc. (Although I find it interesting that the homeschool evaluator that we use is a public school teacher who homeschools LOL)

So why the guilt, why the blame game?

Do I think I’m a better mother because I am a homeschooling, breastfeeding, non-religiousing(?), stay at homing(?) parent? Hell no. But I’m the best parent I can be, no matter what others might or might not think, and I think that’s the only way TO be.

So to those new moms and semi-new moms, stop worrying about what others think or you perceive they might be thinking about you and your choices. Do YOUR best to raise happy, healthy, socially responsible, thoughtful children and your kid(s) will thrive.

Now, if I can just get past the guilt I put on MYSELF, I’d be home free!

Mindless Entertainment Part II

Ok, first off, I was totally right about Leeza being the next to go LOL Dancing with the Stars has grabbed me, I’ll say that. This week, I totally *needed* Clyde to go. He may be a nice guy – he may have been an awesome basketball player – but it was SO glaringly obvious that he was out of his element and really NOT all that interested in trying. I’m glad he gets to go home

I have to admit that Apolo totally had it going On this week, and Joey… eh, not so much. Same with Ian. Those boys got their asses Beat by the young guy. Hopefully they’ll pick up the slack next week. I think the next to go NEEDS to be Heather (“why is she famous mom?”) Mills. I’m so sick of hearing how good she dances “considering”. I just want her to go. Bye bye. I don’t mind that it only leaves Laila as the only woman left… she’s good against the boys considering she probably could kill any of them LOL

I’m not a total groupie… I zap right through the “touring” people and umm Macy Gray? Isn’t she like… never mind Anyways, that’s my rant on that.

Then, I LOVE LOVE LOVE Bon jovi, always have… but WHY were they performing at the CMT awards this year? Can someone explain this to me? Thanks. The performance was very cool – Richie Sambora has bulked up some, but still quite yummy. (as a side note)

My boy Kenny totally deserved the male video of the year … video was awesome, and any time I get to see this man in jeans and a hat…

Mmmm Mmmm Mmmmmmmm.

Oh, and The Apprentice is totally screwing us out of the high-stress, high- drama final task and I’m not liking it one bit. I think James will win because the rest of them just annoy me. Nicole is a … ugh

Father’s Name Unknown

Ok, so one of the reasons I had wanted to get married before our newest son was born was because, up until then, EVERYONE in this house has the same last name except me. When our children were born, however, my hubby-type person had to sign paternity papers saying “yes, I’m the daddy, yes you can track my ass down for child support should it ever come down to that”. Because they assume, obviously, that if you’re not married, you’re a deadbeat too.

So each of our children’s birth certificates says “Mother’s Name” and lists my name – not my maiden name – my MARRIED last name… and then of course, father’s name and the kids have HIS last name. Which is of course how we wanted it.

So it was just one of my neurotic moments of many where it really bothered me that a THIRD child would be born with their mother’s name not the *same*. So I put the heat on. Clearly, however, it didn’t work LOL

So then I said well, fine - if you’re not going to marry me, I’ll go have my name changed legally… this will accomplish a few things (not the least of which was to drive bamboo shoots up into the fingernails of hubby’s family hehehehe) and our next child will have the same name as ME. (I really do hate it that our names are different in the hospital – oh that’s baby K… his mom is mom X.)

15 days

• Just 15 days to go until my newest heir to the throne is brought, screaming, into this world. Hard to believe, eh?

• You Were Nice This Year

  You Were 25% Naughty, 75% Nice Okay, so you weren’t *entirely* nice this year But Santa doesn’t expect a modern girl to be perfect You were good enough – and you’ll be rewarded for it

  How Naughty (Or Nice) Were You This Year?

• Your Celebrity Boob Twin:

  Anna Nicole Smith

  Who’s Your Celebrity Boob Twin?

I’m still hoping to hear from someone about a backup blogging site that allows you to import. C’mon people.

• I hope that Melinda got her heat back this weekend.

• Prince was awesome in the superbowl halftime show. He’s still hot after all these years. I actually stood in line at 5am to get tickets for his show 23 years ago.. and they sold out before I got any.

• I taught a one-on-one eBay class yesterday, despite the fact that it was 10 degrees out, and I’m , ya know, 99 months pregnant. But the lady was very appreciative, so that was nice. She even called to make sure I got home ok.

• My mom & dad are coming up for the baby’s birth

• My friend angel is sending me a paddle that’s even got my name on it. I can’t wait.

• Although it wasn’t a holiday, my mom turned 60 this weekend, and my parents also celebrated their 29th wedding anniversary. I can’t possibly fathom that!

• My 3 yr old has officially joined the ranks of the homeschooled.

• My kids keep coming up with names for the baby.

• While I haven’t been able to be particularly kinky for a while, I still have kinky thoughts, so I consider that to be my reason why I keep my blog named this

• Even though we’re expecting a very nice tax refund, I cannot think of more than 2 things that I want to buy when we get the money One of them is a freezer, the other – a *good* frying pan.

• A really awesome homeschooling site – IknowThat.com

• I quit smoking 16 years ago and according to quitnet.com, I’ve saved $60,000.

• I was really upset by this news story about this woman who was refused medical treatment while being arrested, and she miscarried her baby. Now, while she obviously was probably already losing the baby, having to go through that whole night KNOWING it was happening, would be awfully cruel.

• Some people try to guess my password for my password protected postings. I tell them that’s like trying to hack my blog.

• This other story about this couple who had sextuplets and then refused to allow them to have what could have been life-saving medical treatments that would have saved TWO of the babies – also pisses me off. You want them so bad, you do what you have to, religion or not, to SAVE THEM.

• While I can’t wait for my pregnancy to be finished and the baby to be here, I know I’ll miss being pregnant, at least a little bit.

• I have read every single (fiction) book by Koontz, Patterson, King, & Grafton.

• In hindsite, I wish I hadn’t fought so hard to avoid a c-section with my son, thus putting both our lives in danger.

• After almost 12 years, I can say without a doubt that our relationship is stronger than it’s ever been.

• And the sex ain’t bad either

And in case you’re wondering, I’ve just used every category I have on my blog LOL

To Catch A Predator should be called “To Catch a Moron”

I absolutely LOVE the NBC show “Dateline – To Catch a Predator” series. I LOVE watching these PIGS show up with the intent of trying to get it on with what they believe is a CHILD. I LOVE watching these PIGS get put on the spot by that hottie, Chris Hanson, and ground into the carpet by his questions. Yes, people… they’re pigs. This 29 yr old says he knew it was a setup… it was too easy, he says. But he still shows up with lube, a video camera and movie. Sure, dude. No problem. Another one shows up with condoms, baby oil and a vibrator. WITH A 13 YR OLD, DUDE! PIG.

I love the ones who cry when they see the cops, too. Oh no, I’ve been caught. BooHoo. “Oh please, let me go – I promise I’ll NEVER DO THIS AGAIN”

Seriously, what does it say about a 44 yr old father of 3 who shows up thinking he’s gonna have sex with a 13 yr old.

There’s an equal amount of freaks out to get the teenage boys, which really hits home because my son is just 3 years younger than these “kids” that they have on here. My son doesn’t “chat” online, at all. He’s not even allowed on ebay, google, etc. without an adult presence. The only place he goes is to his educational websites – and I monitor him from other computers (BIG BROTHER IS WATCHING YOUUUUU.)

What scares me, though, is that so many other kids are able to do these things. They go to yahoo, aol, myspace, etc. and chat with these pigs. They’re doing it because they enjoy the attention. They enjoy having older guys think they’re appealing. Wanted. I can understand that. But still… these “Adults” … ick. Just ick.

sleep is highly overrated

So, I was up at 2am because my beautiful little blonde haired girl wanted to come sleep with me because, as she states “I like you, mommy”. How can one say no to this? I did. I said “hey, let’s go sleep in your room!” and followed her back to her room, snuggled up to her and tried to warm her up because her brother had left the window cracked open. It was -7 degrees out. I’m thinking… we don’t need THAT MUCH fresh air. And the beautiful little blonde haired girl does not wear pj’s – nightgowns – or anythign resembling clothing to bed. She absolutely, resolutely refuses. I’m lucky to get a diaper on her (it’s the ONLY ONE she wears all day, so don’t go there), and she’s always been like that. She likes it cool. I keep the thermostat at 65 at night, and we all seem to sleep better. Except when certain 10 yr olds go to bed WITH THE WINDOW OPEN. So anyways, after she drifted back to sleep, I went back to my bed, where I lay there for an hour, decidedly not sleeping. I finally got up, grabbed my laptop and came downstairs. I grabbed the other half of the sandwich I’d made at 10pm, some doritos … because what is turkey without doritos, and parked my ass on the couch for the next 2-1/2 hours surfing blogs, adding a few little things here and there to mine. Decidedly not sleeping.

Finally at 5:30, I made my way back upstairs, and finally went back to sleep. Until 7:30, when I got up to pee and realized my hubby wasn’ t going to make his thermos of something hot to drink because it’s so fucking cold in his office. So I did that. While doing that, realized how HUNGRY I was.. made a bagel and some cocoa. Hubby left, and I parked my ass on the couch, yet again, and here I am. Twiddling my friggin thumbs.

I do like to check my stats on my blogs, and found that you all are finding me through some truly bizarre ways. LOL

kinky adventures	2
angelbrat	2
whipping slavegirl crop cane	1
being domme	1
positions for sex in 9th month pregnancy	1
kinky

I wonder how many folks get to my blog by using one of these search terms and find themselves completely disappointed. I’m guessing quite a few judging by the absolute lack of commenting going on. Ah well Can’t please everyone, I suppose.

I had a rough day yesterday. It was like I was inexplicably infused with an extra dose of pregnancy hormones yesterday morning. And this wasn’t a good thing. I woke up feeling all sorts of aches & pains in my general baby area, which made me nervous and anxious and other -ous words. My children were rather rambunctious, my mother was on the phone *miserable*, and I didn’t know what to DO with myself. I finally decided to park my ass, and did so, only to find myself crying at a news story about a local(ish) woman who finally died after being in critical condition for 2 weeks following a head-on collision with a DOLT in which her unborn child had been killed that day. This 27 yr old woman was on her way to work, and that was it. Lights out. She leaves behind 2 little boys and a husband, and this just hurt me So much. They’ve set up a fund for them, and I’m going to donate just to assuage my own feelings of sorrow. The DOLT in question had been having back pain (welcome to my world, bitch) and was trying to adjust her seat, while driving – and crossed the center lane and hit this woman’s car head on.

Anyways, the later, when my mother called back to check in and let me know how she made out at her dr., I found myself crying AGAIN, mainly because I HATE TO CRY and didn’t know WHY I was crying. Overall, it should have been a good day, dammit. Hubby got hired permanently at a job he’d been temping at for the last 6 months last week, and yesterday was payday. Ya know, just that in itself should make it a good day (with a $2.50/hr raise, hell yeah!) But Noooooo, I cry. Oh, and did I mention the blog posting I made on my Baby Blog yesterday at 3am, about how long distance relationships SUCK – that had me blah all day too. GAWD, do I hate these hormones!!! Hell, they’re not even getting me laid! The last we had any kind of quiet time (my euphamism for sex) was last week, which ended in the every 2 minute contractions. I think he’s scared now. LOL

Speaking of sex, though – I’m having our babysitter come sit for us next week and hubby & I are gonna go check into a hotel for our final … well, ok, not final, but last for several weeks/possibly months, little tryst. I had been planning this for months, but Ithink I’d forgotten to mention it to him, because last night when I did, he was like “uhhh… but can she (the babysitter) stay late?” We don’t plan on staying overnight- but just having those nice, ALL TO OURSELVES hours will be nice, I think… and I’ve made it plain & clear to him that I EXPECT GOOD SEX, dammit. No pressure, huh?

ok, so this post has made no sense, but hey, it’s an update anyways