Posts filed under ‘sex’
There’ll Be No Anniversary Nookie For Me.
I’d posted this on my family-friendly blog, which would explain the toned down descriptors lol I added links for my kinky peeps.
Thankfully, the zoloft has not had any ill effects on my sex drive – of which I had none before. The zoloft, actually, has helped in that I don’t necessarily DISLIKE hubby all the time. So it was last night that I was feeling rather amorous and attacked suggested a little alone time. Just him, me and a new …ahem… adult “marital aid” that I’d bought ummm 5 months ago LOL Still in the package, even.
So, while he was taking a bath, I busted that baby out, set it on the bed and waited for hubby (who had agreed we could check out the new purchase).
And we did – and it was all fine and good… until…………
…
…
..
.
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no, the batteries didn’t die.
.
.
.
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no, the baby didn’t wake up.
.
.
.
….
…
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no, the house didn’t catch on fire.
.
.
.
.
…….
I HAD AN ALLERGIC REACTION TO THE FREAKIN TOY!!!!!!!!!!!
It began, actually, as things ended (at least for me). My hands started to itch. MADLY. I couldn’t stop with the itching. I went into the bathroom to wash my hands. Then I realized that other things were wrong. I was burning (there), and my stomach was starting to itch. And itch. AnD ITCH.
It was horrendous. And scary. And grosser than gross. My belly was very quickly covered in hives – dime sized bubbles all over. It also went to my arms, my neck, my chest. My face swelled.
and then………..
I had to CALL MY MOTHER.
To ask her who I could call to make sure I could take Benedryl with ZOLOFT, because the benedryl package said not to take with tranquilizers, and I didn’t know if zoloft would be considered one.
Because, you know, I wasn’t already dying of embarrassment at the prospect of going to the ER, having to explain “No, mom, I’d rather not tell you what I was using” when she asked what the hell would cause it.
Finally, I had to call my best friend, angel, who I knew had used zoloft before and might have some clue. She said YES, take the benedryl and wanted me to go to the ER because I’d developed a heaviness in my chest that was making it hard to breathe. At the same time, hubby was online, searching for clues, anything to figure out what to DO.
I did NOT relish the idea of waking 3 sleeping children and dragging them to the hospital at 11 at night, so I was desperate for SOMETHING to work.
I read now that anxiety makes the symptoms worse, and they did whenever I started pacing around or madly itching ANYTHING I could get my hands on – including my hands.
O M G
Finally, the benedryl started kicking in and I was barely able to hold my head up. I know I nursed Zachary at some point, but I have no idea what time it might have been. I had to have him sleep with me cuz there was no way I’d be able to walk to get him. I was able to sleep it off, thankfully and when I awoke this morning, there was no more itchy.
I STILL have some blotches on my belly, but it doesn’t itch.
One of the other symptoms of a latex allergic reaction is gastritis, and that’s what I believe is still causing the heaviness, feels like I have a chest cold kind of feeling in my chest – so I’ve been a joy to be around all day, burping like a frog.
I honesty don’t know if it’s an allergy to the latex that it’s made from – or maybe it’s just whatever they put on it at the end of the production line – because I’ve never had THIS sort of problem before. I didn’t wash it before using it – perhaps that’s what the problem was. I’ll NEVER know cuz obviously, it WON’T be used again. But if it was a latex allergy, wouldn’t I have had issues while I was in the hospital? I dunno, don’t understand it.
So although today is our 12th anniversary, there’ll Be No Anniversary Nookie For Me!
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Meow
Have you seen this show? I originally started watching it because we found out, rather by accident (thanks to Howard Stern) that one of our scene “Friends” was now working out there. You could have knocked me over with a feather! So I tuned in, just to say “no fucking way!’ but there she was! (to be fair, she’s not been seen except in a cursory, in the background way, but is “featured” on their website quite prominently). But then I kept watching!
In the past, I’d always viewed prostitution as I’m sure most people do. That it was the lowest of the low forms of abuse of women, that they would literally have to sell their souls in order to survive or at least get by. And sure, there are those out there that are “putting themselves through college”, etc. but in MOST cases, it’s a case of a woman hitting the bottom of the societal barrel.
Not THESE women.
THESE women are actually choosing this. Some of them go out there, make some SERIOUS money, and then go back to their lives. They supplement their income by sucking, fucking and making some guy’s fantasy come true. As overused as the statement is, that’s empowerment!
I’d always viewed prostitution, even “legal” prostitution, as dirty and sad. But this show has proven that I guess it’s not ALWAYS like that.
And that Denis Hof is hot. And to be fair to my bi-side, so is Isabella ♥ 
As an aside, through circumstance, I haven’t spoken to that “scene friend” since we found out, but I hope she’s ok. 
Tags: bunnyranch, cat house, hbo
just blahhhhh
I know I have been ignoring my blogging duties here. I’ve been blogging like a madwoman over at my other blog, but have really had nothing even remotely adult to share with you here.
I’m back to my blahhhhhs.
The sex has dried up due to really annoying illnesses, first on his part and now on mine.
I went to the dentist on Monday for the first time in 5 years [thanks to newly purchased dental insurance]. While his assessment didn’t surprise me, the bill [fucking OUCH] did. And then of course, that night, my teeth, which weren’t hurting BEFORE I went to the dentist, sure as hell did after. Then the allergies kicked in, filling my sinuses and making every movement of my head hurt, making my teeth throb. I’ve been a mess ever since.
Fuck, ya know?
The fucking idiot that did the HR duties at my hubbies work, because she wasn’t doing her job CORRECTLY back in February, put us onto the medical/dental benefits that we signed up for RETROACTIVELY, which EFFECTIVELY knocked me off of medicaid. We didn’t know anything about this, though, until last Friday when I called my OB’s office to see why I’d gotten a freakin BILL for his services (although he only assisted). Turns out that there’s a watchdog group out there that watches to make sure there’s no dual insurance shit going on. They found ours, popped my ass off of medicaid and handed all the bills to the paid medical insurance company [that I won't name for fear of defammation lawsuits]. So now I’m getting CO-PAYS on everything, and of course, you also have to pay the FIRST co-pay of $500 per person per calendar year, and then after that, they’ll cover you on some stuff UP TO 80%. Yippee fucking doo-dah. So for some $320 a MONTH, they’ll do that nifty stuff for ya.
Thanks. a. whole. fucking. lot.
[I wonder how many google hits I get just for using the word FUCKING so much]
Then, of course, the “estimate” for my teeth. Ha. fucking. HA. I went and looked it up in the “manual” to see just how much of this FUCKING bill will cost us.
Four extractions (because my amalgam fillings shrunk, allowing bacteria into the tooth base, causing further deterioration, causing the filling to fall out, the tooth to break and leave large, unsightly tooth bases in my mouth, making me look Oh So Pretty)… 3 of those are like that – those are $200-$245 each (we have to pay 20%). Plus the nitrous that I’ve requested, not covered all, an extra $200. That’s roughly $480. Yes, that’s not bad when you consider it totals $1600!!! Then, consider he wants to put in cadaver bone to fill in the space where those 3 teeth are coming out of, to preserve the ridge so I can be fitted for partials (which I have to wait 12 months for), that’s an addition $1150 – none of which is covered by insurance.
Then let’s talk about the perio work I need, admittedly. Doesn’t this sound exciting – scaling & root planning. WOohoo. another $1290 and ya know, bi-weekly visits for 10 fucking weeks, accompanied by repeated anesthesia shots (which I’d rather have a fucking spinal than have these) and ya know… keeping in mind that I have TMJ and can’t keep my fucking MOUTH OPEN THAT LONG. Sigh.
SO, to say that I’m not in a good mood is an understatement. That shit that went down with my family is still unresolved. I’m not getting any. My house is a mess, the fuckers are making us get our own electrical account (which had been included in our rent since we moved in) at a cost of whoever knows how much per month PLUS the $130 we have to give the electric company as a deposit. Oh, but they’re taking $45 a month off our rent.
Big. Fucking. Deal!!!!!
My husband is making more than he ever has in his life, and yet here we are, struggling still. The only way to get out of this is for me to get a friggin job, I swear, and then what do I do with MY THREE CHILDREN.
I went to my Dr. yesterday to follow up on the fact that the b12 wasn’t working, the numbness/loss of sensation is still there, and oh yeah, I’m still depressed.
Can’t Imagine Why.
She wants me to get out of the house and interact with other adults, even once a week. Sure. No problem – as long as I can be back in ya know, 90 minutes to feed the youngest.
Fuck. Ya know?
I moved my other blog, and I’m pissed off with the template and can’t figure out how to change it so that every freakin line isn’t 1.5 spaced. It doesn’t recognize line returns/paragraphs <p> so it’s hard to read, and just fucking. grrrr.
I know, I’m ranting. Seriously, get the fuck over it if it’s bothering you.
Plus, I don’t know if anyone else can relate to this, but have you noticed that when you’re not having sex, it’s really hard to get the motivation to WANT to have sex again? Like, it’s just too much effort?
What the hell.
toys toys everywhere
I have a bazillion toys. My toy bag weighs at least 20 pounds. And it hasn’t come out of the depths of the bottom of my closet since 2 days before my son was born (so mom wouldn’t stumble upon it). We hardly ever use anything from my kinky play bag, mostly for a very simple reason. They make NOISE. So noise is not a good thing when you’re sharing a room with an infant. So, the noisy toys are out.
However, there is *one* toy that I love. One toy that I/we do use with almost 100% rate at getting me to my happy place. I’ve never been one with the insertable vibe type of toy, and this isn’t one of those. But apparently, the secret to MY success isn’t so much a secret, judging by the reviews on this particular “toy” I use. So my favorite toy isn’t necessarily a toy, but damn do I have a good time with it *eg*
So just IMAGINE my horror when the wind blew and ruffled the miniblinds in my bedroom window, causing an errant glass of water to fall to the floor -RIGHT NEXT TO MY TOY!!!!!!!!!!! – AND then imagine, if you will, just how fast my ass FLEW out of the chair in order to save not the $10 baby thermomether, nor the $20 light nor the $10 heating pad, all which live under that window, but to save MY TOY!!! LOL
And as an aside and as promised to my kinky readers, the secret to HUBBY’s success that I alluded to earlier this week, was this toy, combined with his magical oral talents and holy cumma-cumma-cumma-chameleon, did I cum in a whole new way.
update on the experiment
Well, what a week! You may recall that on Tuesday, I told hubby he wasn’t going to cum that night.
The next day, we talked and I told him I’d like to try to get him to Saturday, which was “my night” to decide what we were going to do … sexually. He said “ok”
heh
I’d also wanted to see if him not having that release would make him more randy, playful, needy, etc. SOMETHING.
Unfortunately for me, no. But something else happened that made the “work” so worth it anyways.
Every night this week – Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday, we had sex. Or at least sexual activity. Each of those nights ended with me having one or more orgasms reliably – every night. And one afternoon, I even got flipped around and had my shorts yanked down so he could fuck me during his lunch break! Of course, this is becuase I’ve been teasing him mercilessly
But this whole cumming every time, and sometimes more than once, hasn’t happened in a very very long time. I’m always hit or miss, especially after having the baby. It’s been alot more miss.
He also let me know that it didn’t bother him not cuming, that he could do that all the time.
*evil grin* Oh reallllly?
He also managed to find yet another way to make me cum… ya know, all those different types of orgasms… yeah, we found another winner. Damn, did we ever.
Last night, he finally came and now next week it’s his turn… but like I said, it didn’t have the desired effect that I’d wanted in that whole … more affection/attention area, but it seems to also have relieved alot of the depression I’d been feeling for a while. I’ve felt so much better this week – it’s not a conscious effort to be happy or at least *not* blah this week, so that was a HUGE help.
so yay for us… and thanks to Sexy Momma and her hubby for the inspiration.
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grumbles
So, the same crap I was experiencing last year with the numbness/loss of sensation has actually gotten worse – my dr. thinks it could be related to a low b-12 level, so I’m gonna try that. But it’s really pissing me off – now is the time when my life is getting back on a somewhat even keel. The baby is sleeping better, so therefore, so am I. The breastfeeding thing has gotten better, so I’m not miserable or sore all the time. The surgery sites have healed, so again, not sore. Soo what the hell. When we do get together, apparently I don’t respond enough for him, so his attention span sort of wanes… it just bites.
I’m annoyed at my body, again. As usual, I suppose. It’s so damned frustrating. Hubby keeps insisting it’s his fault – he’s out of shape, or he’s lost his touch, etc. He just doesn’t GET IT that it’s a physiological problem with me – which also causes an emotional thing with me… My head can’t work around it.
Have I mentioned This Sucks.
Big time.
waking up
Part of the paradox that is child birth is a sense of accomplishment. You have put forth an entire human being. You’ve created life. Religiousness aside, you’ve DONE THIS. Look at what I did!
The other part of child birth is that it takes away every last ounce of dignity you may have ever had in the first place. Child birth isn’t pretty, sexy or remotely attractive in any way. Neither is the resulting recovery, and of course, add in the additional, inevitable lack of sleep and complete exhaustion and you’ve got a mess of a woman who, yes, has brought forth a human being, but feels like she’s been run over by a truck… over & over again.
At least that’s how it is for me. I look like hell. I fully admit to this. I’m not proud of it, but ya know… when you’re a human milk bar and the best you can manage is a shower every few days, and you watch brain cells go down the drain during those showers, it’s a good thing that you’re even awake at dinner. I tend to forget things easily and feel like a clown. My boobs are sore and mushy (not that burlesque type of overinflation you sometimes see with nursing moms), my belly is still swollen and although I’ve lost 20+ lbs, I still feel like a puffer fish. I do not feel sexy. I do not feel pretty. I do not feel beautiful.
3 weeks down…
3 weeks to go before I can “technically” have sex again. This, of course, is when the baby starts sleeping all night, too, right? And this is also when the other 2 go to sleep when they’re supposed to, instead of 2 hours later? And of course, this is when I lost that extra 40 lbs I’ve been working on, my hair isn’t silver anymore and of course, I lose all guilt?
yeah, I fantasize, what can I say? 
