stupid shit « A Kinky Woman\’s Guide to the Universe

Posts filed under ‘stupid shit’

There’ll Be No Anniversary Nookie For Me.

I’d posted this on my family-friendly blog, which would explain the toned down descriptors lol I added links for my kinky peeps.

Thankfully, the zoloft has not had any ill effects on my sex drive – of which I had none before. The zoloft, actually, has helped in that I don’t necessarily DISLIKE hubby all the time. So it was last night that I was feeling rather amorous and ~~attacked~~ suggested a little alone time. Just him, me and a new …ahem… adult “marital aid” that I’d bought ummm 5 months ago LOL Still in the package, even.

So, while he was taking a bath, I busted that baby out, set it on the bed and waited for hubby (who had agreed we could check out the new purchase).

And we did – and it was all fine and good… until…………
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no, the batteries didn’t die.
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no, the baby didn’t wake up.
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no, the house didn’t catch on fire.
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I HAD AN ALLERGIC REACTION TO THE FREAKIN TOY!!!!!!!!!!!

It began, actually, as things ended (at least for me). My hands started to itch. MADLY. I couldn’t stop with the itching. I went into the bathroom to wash my hands. Then I realized that other things were wrong. I was burning (there), and my stomach was starting to itch. And itch. AnD ITCH.

It was horrendous. And scary. And grosser than gross. My belly was very quickly covered in hives – dime sized bubbles all over. It also went to my arms, my neck, my chest. My face swelled.

and then………..

I had to CALL MY MOTHER.

To ask her who I could call to make sure I could take Benedryl with ZOLOFT, because the benedryl package said not to take with tranquilizers, and I didn’t know if zoloft would be considered one.

Because, you know, I wasn’t already dying of embarrassment at the prospect of going to the ER, having to explain “No, mom, I’d rather not tell you what I was using” when she asked what the hell would cause it.

Finally, I had to call my best friend, angel, who I knew had used zoloft before and might have some clue. She said YES, take the benedryl and wanted me to go to the ER because I’d developed a heaviness in my chest that was making it hard to breathe. At the same time, hubby was online, searching for clues, anything to figure out what to DO.

I did NOT relish the idea of waking 3 sleeping children and dragging them to the hospital at 11 at night, so I was desperate for SOMETHING to work.

I read now that anxiety makes the symptoms worse, and they did whenever I started pacing around or madly itching ANYTHING I could get my hands on – including my hands.

O M G

Finally, the benedryl started kicking in and I was barely able to hold my head up. I know I nursed Zachary at some point, but I have no idea what time it might have been. I had to have him sleep with me cuz there was no way I’d be able to walk to get him. I was able to sleep it off, thankfully and when I awoke this morning, there was no more itchy.

I STILL have some blotches on my belly, but it doesn’t itch.

One of the other symptoms of a latex allergic reaction is gastritis, and that’s what I believe is still causing the heaviness, feels like I have a chest cold kind of feeling in my chest – so I’ve been a joy to be around all day, burping like a frog.

I honesty don’t know if it’s an allergy to the latex that it’s made from – or maybe it’s just whatever they put on it at the end of the production line – because I’ve never had THIS sort of problem before. I didn’t wash it before using it – perhaps that’s what the problem was. I’ll NEVER know cuz obviously, it WON’T be used again. But if it was a latex allergy, wouldn’t I have had issues while I was in the hospital? I dunno, don’t understand it.

So although today is our 12th anniversary, there’ll Be No Anniversary Nookie For Me!

July 23, 2007 at 6:41 am 5 comments

the bullshit weight-loss industry

I am an American woman who has always struggled with my weight, as has my sister, and our mother. But because I have a BRAIN, I don’t run to every weight-loss “miracle” that comes along… thus probably saving my life a time or two.

My sister, though, has tried several “miracle” drugs and other weight-loss plans with varying success, although she scares the hell out of me when she lets me know (usually weeks after she’s started) that she’s taking them or experiencing problems WITH them.

My sister is 13 yrs younger than me, has had 2 children and is only moderately out of her weight “limit” as set forth by the AMA.

With that being said, I can say with some authority that my sister would probably be goofy enough to try the newest FAD weight loss miracle drug – alli – because it’s FDA-approved and promises. The website touts

|”forget the fad diets, gimmicks, miracle offers & empty promises”|

Ok. We will. (click)

Luckily for HER, I’m up at 1am and was logging into my blog when this posting, thanks to WordPress website for putting up popular posts, caught my eye.

Do not read this posting while eating breakfast.

or anything for that matter.

And I WILL be sending her this posting, and his.

I don’t normally suggest you go read someone ELSE’S blog, but he says it as concisely as I ever could LOL

Go … no, really – you have GOT TO GO READ THIS.

June 21, 2007 at 12:22 am 6 comments

just blahhhhh

I know I have been ignoring my blogging duties here. I’ve been blogging like a madwoman over at my other blog, but have really had nothing even remotely adult to share with you here.

I’m back to my blahhhhhs.

The sex has dried up due to really annoying illnesses, first on his part and now on mine.

I went to the dentist on Monday for the first time in 5 years [thanks to newly purchased dental insurance]. While his assessment didn’t surprise me, the bill [fucking OUCH] did. And then of course, that night, my teeth, which weren’t hurting BEFORE I went to the dentist, sure as hell did after. Then the allergies kicked in, filling my sinuses and making every movement of my head hurt, making my teeth throb. I’ve been a mess ever since.

Fuck, ya know?

The fucking idiot that did the HR duties at my hubbies work, because she wasn’t doing her job CORRECTLY back in February, put us onto the medical/dental benefits that we signed up for RETROACTIVELY, which EFFECTIVELY knocked me off of medicaid. We didn’t know anything about this, though, until last Friday when I called my OB’s office to see why I’d gotten a freakin BILL for his services (although he only assisted). Turns out that there’s a watchdog group out there that watches to make sure there’s no dual insurance shit going on. They found ours, popped my ass off of medicaid and handed all the bills to the paid medical insurance company [that I won't name for fear of defammation lawsuits]. So now I’m getting CO-PAYS on everything, and of course, you also have to pay the FIRST co-pay of $500 per person per calendar year, and then after that, they’ll cover you on some stuff UP TO 80%. Yippee fucking doo-dah. So for some $320 a MONTH, they’ll do that nifty stuff for ya.

Thanks. a. whole. fucking. lot.

[I wonder how many google hits I get just for using the word FUCKING so much]

Then, of course, the “estimate” for my teeth. Ha. fucking. HA. I went and looked it up in the “manual” to see just how much of this FUCKING bill will cost us.

Four extractions (because my amalgam fillings shrunk, allowing bacteria into the tooth base, causing further deterioration, causing the filling to fall out, the tooth to break and leave large, unsightly tooth bases in my mouth, making me look Oh So Pretty)… 3 of those are like that – those are $200-$245 each (we have to pay 20%). Plus the nitrous that I’ve requested, not covered all, an extra $200. That’s roughly $480. Yes, that’s not bad when you consider it totals $1600!!! Then, consider he wants to put in cadaver bone to fill in the space where those 3 teeth are coming out of, to preserve the ridge so I can be fitted for partials (which I have to wait 12 months for), that’s an addition $1150 – none of which is covered by insurance.

Then let’s talk about the perio work I need, admittedly. Doesn’t this sound exciting – scaling & root planning. WOohoo. another $1290 and ya know, bi-weekly visits for 10 fucking weeks, accompanied by repeated anesthesia shots (which I’d rather have a fucking spinal than have these) and ya know… keeping in mind that I have TMJ and can’t keep my fucking MOUTH OPEN THAT LONG. Sigh.

SO, to say that I’m not in a good mood is an understatement. That shit that went down with my family is still unresolved. I’m not getting any. My house is a mess, the fuckers are making us get our own electrical account (which had been included in our rent since we moved in) at a cost of whoever knows how much per month PLUS the $130 we have to give the electric company as a deposit. Oh, but they’re taking $45 a month off our rent.

Big. Fucking. Deal!!!!!

My husband is making more than he ever has in his life, and yet here we are, struggling still. The only way to get out of this is for me to get a friggin job, I swear, and then what do I do with MY THREE CHILDREN.

I went to my Dr. yesterday to follow up on the fact that the b12 wasn’t working, the numbness/loss of sensation is still there, and oh yeah, I’m still depressed.

Can’t Imagine Why.

She wants me to get out of the house and interact with other adults, even once a week. Sure. No problem – as long as I can be back in ya know, 90 minutes to feed the youngest.

Fuck. Ya know?

I moved my other blog, and I’m pissed off with the template and can’t figure out how to change it so that every freakin line isn’t 1.5 spaced. It doesn’t recognize line returns/paragraphs <p> so it’s hard to read, and just fucking. grrrr.

I know, I’m ranting. Seriously, get the fuck over it if it’s bothering you.

Plus, I don’t know if anyone else can relate to this, but have you noticed that when you’re not having sex, it’s really hard to get the motivation to WANT to have sex again? Like, it’s just too much effort?

What the hell.

June 14, 2007 at 9:54 am 6 comments

various stuffs

My baby boy turns 100 days old today. Hard to believe it’s gone that fast.
That damned bug bite, and the 5 others I had, itched like a mofo for four freakin days.
I just spent several days moving my baby blog – turned family blog, to one of my own domains and will probably do the same for this blog once I decide on a domain name.
I got stopped the other day (expired inspection sticker) and damn, the Statie was cute.
No, I didn’t proposition him.
Yes, I got a ticket but won’t have to pay it if I can get the car inspected by Sunday
Apparently, Donald Trump got pissy because NBC decided not to put The Apprentice on the Fall schedule, and went all Rosie on them, deciding not to do the show at all anymore. Does that mean NBC is Fired? And more importantly, does ANYONE care???
Another post-partum woman decided to off her kids and, thankfully, herself – and one of the kids – the newest one – survived THE HANGING. All I can imagine is what that little girl is gonna think when she gets older.

May 31, 2007 at 9:27 am 2 comments

microsoft blows

My apologies if you’re reading this blog in internet explorer and it’s all screwy. I practically never use it, so when I saw today that it’s throwing the whole 2nd column way down, I was bummed. I don’t have time to figure it out right now though so my apologies.

July 29, 2005 at 3:59 pm Leave a comment

I’m probably gonna go to hell but…

This is a posting that came over a mailing list I’m a part of. It’s a mailing list for lifestyle people looking for employment. The only thing I’ve removed from her posting was her name.

” …:::.i’m a female submissive… would like to live up in the Oregan area, was just there and it was beautiful, i’ve resently quite my job as a manager and would love to just start new, i’m quite intelligent, have a positive outlook on life, 49ys, have intigrity and abitility to learn most things, attractive, take care of myself. In the moment i live in Sacramento, Califoria.”

I’m telling you, this hurt my eyes to read. Anyone want to hire her????

July 1, 2005 at 12:57 pm Leave a comment